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I like it; and it makes me miss the silliness of NYC. Be sure to read the responses below the original post. The first response is pretty good. The second one is a bit lame to me; just seems like a copycat that came up short.

LINK IS AT: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/439983703.html

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What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY Please hold your insults
- I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know. -

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ANOTHER ANSWER:
Dear Pers-431649184:

Your also came across your posting with great interest. I am a 28 year old Wall Street trader who qualifies as an eligible suitor under your $500k/yr rule. In fact, I make over a million and can usher a woman into a comfortable, true middle class lifestyle (not like those 500k lower-middle class chumps who have to make do with the junior two-bedroom).

I am sympathetic to your goal in finding a rich man to marry. The milk needs to be sold by the expiration date. But since this is premium milk, why would you settle for less than premium prices? I would like to address some of the questions that were previously missed by the other gentleman and provide constructive advice on where to find your match.

I also do believe in the efficient market theory, and am surprised that $500k hasn't found you yet. There are plenty of rich lawyers, investment bankers and hedgies to go around in this city. What gives? I think the problem might be that you have not been sufficiently focused in your search efforts.

The culprit, I believe, may be that you are also looking for qualities aside from money - such as looks, personality, and a sense of humor. However, men who have those qualities learn at an early age that they do not need money to attract quality women. As the saying goes, if you can get the milk for free, why pay up for the cow?

What you need to look for is someone who is long money, and short the other aspects. They are not easy to spot, since you are biologically wired to overlook and ignore them. However, the next time that you are at a expensive black tie event, and you are introduced to the short, bald, overweight man who fidgets nervously whilst making conversation with you, pay special attention to him.

Here's an inspirational story for you. An acquaintance of mine who was also an classy and articulate woman as yourself was able to land that guy - who also happens to be one of the top ten guys at Google. This is the type of stuff that gold-digging moms read to their gold-digging daughters at bedtime. Perhaps you need to make a location change to Silicon Valley - miracles like these happen almost everyday in a land where you can randomly throw a rock and hit a rich nerd in squarely his Kim-jong Il glasses.

And as far as his deficiencies go, they turned out to be not so bad. With hundreds of millions in the bank, she's been able to clean him up and give him a little sophistication. Think of it as a fixer-upper project with a massive budget (and yourself as a visionary real estate developer!). Although, I must warn you, it is a fine line you are flirting with - you must not overdo it lest he begins to attract younger women who are hotter than yourself. The trick is, you need build him up enough to be presentable, while simultaneously manipulate him into believing you are the best that he will ever do! That and having kids will be your insurance against your depreciation (or as I prefer to use the term, milk going sour).

I wish the best of luck on your sales project. As for me, I am also available for a short-term lease. However, for marriage I wouldn't consider a women unless she can bring beauty, brains and self-motivation to the table. I do not want to dilute my gene pool and end up raising a bunch of Paris Hiltons.

El Pollo Loco

Food at poker rooms isn't always that great. Why can't I play poker and munch on something like this. El Pollo Loco. I've only found them in CA, and it's a good enough reason to want to fly back to CA for a taste of their chicken. Fast food in CA, in Los Angeles, in particular, is just better. Better than what you might ask? It doesn't matter what you compare it to. It's just better. The Holiday Bonus tournament will be held at Commerce Casino in November. Drop by for some poker and some el pollo loco.

Free Vegas Trip

Is a free trip to Vegas ever really free? I'm being asked to participate in a highly contentious case with hundreds of millions of dollars at stake. To do so, I have to attend a court hearing in NY. I've also got to go on record with my declarations to help correct a certain misunderstanding in the proceedings. Naturally, I can't be expected to pay for my own trip up there, so I get a "free" trip to Vegas.

Let's analyze what "free" could entail:
1) Opportunity cost of my time spent in LA which could be $1,000/day. Assuming I don't work on Sunday, that means -$1,000 for Monday.
2) Loss at blackjack. Conservative estimate of -$500.
3) Loss at craps. Conservative estimate of -$600.
4) Gain at pai gow poker. Win $350. Hey, I've got to win sometimes, right?
5) Loss at poker. Lose $2000. I was up at first, but it was no limit, and we pushed all in when I was a 7-to4 favorite but I still lost.
6) Humility faced when the cage tells me my credit card is maxed out. Loss is priceless.
7) Slots. Win $40. Yay! Something goes right on this trip.
8) Lawsuit against me for my participation in the case. Estimate of -$30,000.

Holy crap. Free just ended up costing me $33,710 and whatever "priceless" means.

Oh what the hell. Sometimes you just have to do things on principle.

Gambling

When I tell the girlfriend that poker isn't gambling and that it's like investing in the stock market, she says something along the lines of, "Exactly, that's gambling." Contrast that with my father, of course, who thinks not investing is gambling, just like poker is. Whatever it is, there's a degree of luck involved, so I suppose there's always some sense in the notion that it's "gambling". Allow me to share my thoughts regarding the market.

There's panic all over the place because people are worried about credit issues. Subprime has spilled over into the general debt market, and that in turn has freaked out everyone. Wall Street is selling things left and right, and the general vibe is negative enough to put our beloved stock market into a selling frenzy. Call me lucky or call me clever, but I liquidated pretty much anything that didn't have long term value to me already so I've been waiting on the sidelines waiting to pick up some deals. Some others are already saying it, so it's not a novel concept or anything, but I think Q4 is really going to reward those value stocks that have good growth and industry attention but have been unfairly caught up in the selling frenzy. Come end of this year, my guess is that I'll either be begging on the streets or I'll make some sick, sick gains.

Now here's the real question. Who wants to stake me? I need room and board for the next six months and you take 100% of the loss, 50% of the gain.

Bottled Water

At the checkout line with my Dasani water bottle in hand, a stranger commented to me, "Don't you know that's just tap water? And it's killing the environment." For a brief moment, I thought about responding with a comment like, "Really? Tell me everything.", but judging from her appearances, I would be in for a lengthy discussion. I was in no mood to listen the the latest gossip she had heard from watching the local news.

"I know it's bottled water, but did you know that it's made by Coca-Cola and they put in a secret ingredient lfor a mere sip of water like this."

She looked at me in disgust and shook her head, but that shut her up. The truth is that I've known for ages that Dasani and Aquafina were not made from natural spring water. I don't really care. I drink tap water in decrepit countries where the chance of getting something more than just water is a distinct possibility. I'm not afraid of infected water. Evian water appeals to me about as much as a strand of Mikimoto pearls. However, I do like the idea of quenching thirst with chilled water and the convenience of having a bottle when I'm on the go. I realize that it's made from plastic and plastic is destroying the environment, so I try to avoid wasting water bottles, but yeah, I do use them.

What really gets me, however, is the fact that people get on their high and mighty horse after they've watched a three-minute special on the local news exposing the water industry as being deceptive because they use tap water instead of real water, or wasteful because they are destroying the environment with their water collection and bottling practices. Especially with the latter, I don't know why the "water" industry is getting heat when that is a problem that isn't unique to the industry. The woman above, for example, had plastic bottles of other drinks and products in her holier-than-thou shopping cart.

As I drank the ice cold Dasani in my not-as-feul-efficient-as-can-be car, I didn't feel the least bit guilty. I was actually feeling rather relieved that someone out there provided purified tap water in a bottle because it was pretty darn hot in Southern California that afternoon. Yeah, I'm selfish like that.

Destroying Mike May

Mike May is single-handedly being my muse for this journal. It's very fitting because he's actually my own audience as well. (Hi, Mike!) Let me tell you a story about Mike May that he doesn't even know. I think the both of us started playing cards at a place called "Diamond Club". While I can't speak for Mike, the Diamond Club was certainly my favorite place in the world to play cards; it's a pity that it's long been shut down and is only a distant memory. Of course, some friends of mine, with very much help from Mike, are in the midst of producing a documentary which will outline the underground clubs that make New York poker.

I was just a beginner when I started playing cards at the Diamond Club, but Mike was already well on his way to becoming a pro. Needless to say, he helped me along with the education and took nothing from me except for a lot of little round chips. I was like a machine back then, a loose, passive player that just kept sliding chips ahead. You know those gaming machines in the casinos that push the quarters, but the quarters never fall? Well, I'd push chips out and they'd fall...right into the hands of the likes of Mike May.

Years later, I re-introduced myself to Mike but never mentioned the fact that I think he took a good chunk of my law school spending money away from me when I was naught but a poor student. By-this-time, Mike had already established his name in the poker world, having placed in several tournaments and was well on his way to being known as "the Claw". I pretended to be his friend so that he would take me under his wing and teach me all his poker tricks, and then I could one day take revenge upon his pour soul and bust him into eternity. No luck. Not only does he become a better player day-by-day, but he sought protection in the foreign land of Florida, where bingo reigns supreme and poker players resort to poker cruises to claw social security money away from retired folk who need it for life-sustaining medications.

Time will heal broken hearts, but not mine. What healed my poor bitter soul and revenge-seeking mind was a lovely [read = hot] girl that convinced me that if I lifted my lifelong goal of taking Mike out, she'd sleep with me. So I did, and it was so worth it. Now I am forever indebted to him for helping me score what I could never otherwise score. Thanks, Mike.

Beginning

If ever there was a beginning, this was it. And then I had writer's block...